Breaking: A Great White has reportedly attacked a surfer at Banyans on Hawaii’s Big Island, “Took him under and let him go!”

“I bet John John Florence and Jack Robinson wanted to go back out!”

If you know surfing, you’ll know the name Ian “Kanga” Cairns, a man with the physique of a comic-book hero who ruled big waves, who was pivotal in the creation of a world tour, who would launch the ASP after tearing…