Surfers scramble to identify inspiration for “Floridian daredevil knocked unconscious in water” on Rescue: HI-Surf premier!

Introducing The Carne Asada Metric.

The Pacific has gone entirely flat, in Southern
California, and has been such for months now. Not a pulse, not even
a ripple, in weeks and weeks and weeks. The obsessive-compulsive
surfer who counts a 15-ft glider in his quiver not even “out
there.”…