Tim Dowling: a rake has it in for me – and the tortoise | Life and style

On a weekend afternoon, with the temperature nudging 30C, my wife and I take the dog for a walk. Neither of us wants to go, so we go together, and agree to keep it short.

“Oh no,” my wife says when we get to the park. I look across the open expanse and see what she sees.

“Picnics,” I say….