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Because “there” was not simply a house. It was the center of the social world available to her. To stop going over there would not have meant avoiding one uncomfortable interaction. It would have meant partially withdrawing from the infrastructure of her own adolescence.
The entries do not describe panic. They describe calibration. A 15-year-old girl trying to maintain social equilibrium while managing the emotional volatility of boys around her.
Read now, more than 50 years later, “I…
